Breakin down

Wut up peoples?! Damn, I always ask this and nobody answers... =p
Chillin here, after a long ass tiring practice! Damn, I ran a lot today! It was cool though, the practice was good. I like to run the court, fastbreaks and wut not, so I loved it. I also guarded the american dude on my team, Jason, and while I was at it, he did very little. Now I'm really sore though. Anyone can help me out wit a massage?.... Pretty please....? =p This of bein a masseur and giving great massages... and not bein able to massage yourself sucks big time! It's all good, at least the coach didn't take me out. I don't know if that means he's really countin on me tomorrow though. I hope so, and I'll let you know how it goes down tomorrow!! =D
Anyways, another thing I'm here to talk about. Let me break it down for you real quick... Ok, so u find someone, u have to separate, hurts like a bitch, and people tell you to move on, go on with your life...Wut the hell do they mean with that?!
I mean, sure, heartbreak's a pain, it's hard to get over them (some people never do... no names mentioned though... ;p) but it's not like someone will die right there! Ok, that has happened, but it doesn't happen often. Especially nowadays! People are into a fast life, always on the move, meaning fast relationships. Hell, I know many people who are like that! But I'm gettin away from wut I wanted to say.
Aight, like in my case, people say "Get on with your life J", "Understand that it's over J", "Do the same as her J"... Ok, did anyone stop seein me around or did I disappear?... Somehow I doubt it... Did anyone see me die or sumtin? I don't think so, or I wouldn't be here writing. I'm gettin on with my life, it didn't stop just cuz I got dumped. There were days when I didn't wanna get up, didn't wanna eat (I still don't eat much, but when I do, I gets busy! =p), didn't wanna go out.... but I don't think many people actually stay in bed for weeks or months or starve till someone shoves food down their throath, or stay at home being couch potatoes! Hell naw! Love can make you do crazy stuff, that's true, but I don't think many people don't get on with their lives. Cuz gettin on with your life doesn't mean you HAVE to find someone else, it just means you still do wut u used to do. I still go to school, I still play ball.... is that stopping at all? No. And of course I have to understand, it's not like I really have other choice! Damn, I've done everything I could and it didn't work, she still didn't want to be with me, so I have to understand. She's in love with someone else, so I have to understand. And I do understand! And doing the same as her... ok, that's how u know that people haven't been really payin attention to wut I write! When you read, be sure to understand wut u read. I know, I write a lot of boring, lame, romantic, self centered, no good for readin stuff, but it's not like u have to read! I just thought it'd be interesting to share my life wit y'all! Maybe someone can identify themselves with me, maybe I can get some feedback, maybe I can touch someone... I don't know! I just do it cuz I love it! Ok, gettin off track again... sorry... aight, so doin the same as her... why the hell would I do that? Gettin someone else? hmmm... let's think about it for a second... I'm a romantic, lame, sensitive guy.... I believe in love.... I believe in bein loved... I believe that you can't be in love with 2 people at the same time... I believe that you should only be with one person at a time... I believe you should be with the one you in love with... So let's add all this up... wut's the result? Exactly! If I'm still in love her, I can't be with someone else! I can, but I don't wanna cuz that's not me! I sometimes wish I could be like some guys or girls out there, who can just go out, make out with a different person every night, do it with a different person every night, but I can't. And I don't really wanna be like most people, I wanna be me... And THIS IS ME! Holdin on to the past doesn't mean you don't move on, it just means you keep good memories (in this case, the best memories) of wutever happened. At least that's wut it means for me... I'm sorry if I misunderstood someone...
Deep inside, of course I still wish she'll be with me again... I'm in love with her, wut can u expect? But I have to learn to live like this... half again... learnin to find my way in darkness, learning to be lonely, learnin to be my own companion... fightin back tears... wishin she was here, but knowin that she never will... Being truly, madly, deeply in love, but knowin she loves someone else... It's all good! Hope is the last to die and is something I always have! And I still have friends who I can count on for whatever! By the way, it's never enough to say: Thank you guys! You're the best!
It's not like I asked her to wait for me... not at all! All I asked for was one more chance... Didn't get it... sucks for me, i'm S.O.L. But she made it, she got over it, she loves someone else who loves her back... good! Great! AWESOME! I'm really happy for that! I hope they have all the happiness in the world, the brightest future ever! Knowin that they're happy already helps me out a lot! But don't tell me to get on with my life, don't tell me to understand, don't tell me to do the same... Please... I am moving on and gettin on with my life... I do understand, completely... I just can't do the same... at least not quite yet... not while I'm in love...
I'm out... PEACE!